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More issues that may just be depression

July 3rd, 2012 (02:22 pm)

The thing that bugs me most about depression is that the list of symptoms encompasses nearly everything - fatigue, back pain, stomach cramps, headaches, dizziness, mood swings, hallucinations, dissociation, confusion, forgetfulness, etc.  I start feeling really shitty in some way or another, and I want to know whether it's something I can live without going to a doctor about, and suddenly depression is there on the list of possible causes.

Now, to add to the list of weird things, I've been drifting further into a weird twilight realm.  Sometimes I think I'm dreaming when I know I'm not, and sometimes my dreams persist through the day so that I think people are alive who are long dead or family members have died who are alive.  These feelings come and go and take days to shake off entirely.  I forget who people are sometimes.  Of course, I've had this at least since I was 19 or 20, but it's becoming more persistent and sometimes prolonged.  I look over at my husband when I'm driving and think he's my sister or even a stranger.  I forget for a few seconds that we got married and am about to ask him a question about a class like we're still in college.  Then it goes away, with a little bit of a daze left in its wake.  The worst times are when I'm driving long distances or late in the evening when I'm about to go to bed, so it's likely tied to fatigue, but it still bothers me that it's more frequent.  What if I forget him for hours or days or forever?

I'm not sure what's happening.  I had this extended episode (for about a half-hour) yesterday when I wasn't sure what was going on, what year it was, who I was with, but I tried to act like it was nothing by keeping quiet and using the cues around me to place myself again.

Comments

Posted by: Thene (athenemiranda)
Posted at: July 3rd, 2012 09:20 pm (UTC)
hug

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fugue_state only not quite? It really, really sounds like you should see a doctor at this point. Worried about you.

Posted by: Loadhan (loadhan)
Posted at: July 5th, 2012 11:21 pm (UTC)
Coati

I hope I'm not butting in here. I don't know you that well but I do consider you a friend so I care. For whatever it's worth, here are some suggestions:

1) I think it would be a really good idea to find a sliding-scale mental health services clinic; preferably one with an in-house psychiatrist. There are places that take people with no insurance. The "twilight realm" episodes concern me a lot.

2) Regarding the money problem you mentioned in an earlier post - maybe you could apply to the social services in your area (county department of Job & Family Services, or some such similar name)? They could see if you qualify for Medicaid maybe. Also please note there is NO shame in taking this option. My girlfriend is on this. She's also a psychology graduate student so I get to know a few things that hopefully are helpful suggestions.

I also agree with athenemiranda; I was thinking "depressive fugue" too before I read the comment.

*HUGS*

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